Growing up, I wondered if people think like me
I observed and studied what I could not see
So, what would you find...
in an ordinary mind?
This unknown was so mystifying
is everyone trying
to discover themselves
and inwards they delve
until their head is scrambled
or was that just me and am I weird?
this is really, what I feared!
What I discovered over the years
that explained all those teenage tears
was that I had anxiety
and no, not all others thought like me.
They did not self analyse repeatedly
or contemplate the"what ifs" defining me ?
My noisy brain, that gave no calm
started to cause inward harm
it would tell me that I couldn't do this, couldn't do that
my self esteem was getting flat
and over the years, its still been there.
and still I could not bear
until I had my son for focus
that changed my central locus
that's what happens with a busy brain
from thinking, you cannot easily refrain
and when you have distraction
life can have more satisfaction
Some years later I learned of 'neurodiversity'
and this explained, you see, that this could in fact be me
it explained to me that my anxiety, was probably ADHD
And now I have an explanation,
I experienced complete elation
I got my diagnosis privately
because the NHS would not see me
Because the myths go on today
that ADHD is an outward display
that effects only school boys
who make lots of noise
but let me demystify this myth to you
that girls and women have it too
So, now I can stop thinking badly of me,
and tell myself "its my ADHD"
I've now got belief in me
that previously I could not see
I'm finding my creativity
that previously I held in captivity
I have loads of fresh ideas
I'm not holding back from my old fears
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